Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Living in pain brings with it a powerful vortex of emotional pain. It seems to suck hopes, dreams, fun, happiness, so much of what makes life worthwile into a black hole. But it does not have to stay that way. You can rise above it and not let the pain WIN.
Here are some tips that help me keep perspective and a smile:

Guard from temptation Be aware of the areas you struggle, and the trigger emotions that take you there. Be on the lookout, and be vigilant. There is nothing like living in daily pain to bring on loneliness, depression, hopelessness, and many other emotions that could lead you to find satisfaction and distraction in places you shouldn’t.

Write a Worry List Sometimes our minds get overwhelmed when one thought leads to another worry and so on, and then panic can ensue. Get out a piece of paper and write down every single thing you are worried about. Then, it’s tangible, not just swirling in your head. I've found that after doing so, my mind rests.

Be honest with yourself and others Talk it out with people you know will listen fully and offer the right kind of advice. But be also be wise about those you share lots of details with. There are many that it is best to just give light information, stay positive, and then switch the subject.

Have a pity-party every now and then Sometimes you must mourn the loss of the things you thought you'd have. Every now and then it is healthy to just “go there.” Just try not to allow it to go on for too long.

Do not lose hope It may seems silly, but make a goal board to pray over and look at. Click here to view the one I did. Always remember that there is a good plan for your life. "Never, never, never give up." --Winston Churchill

Take one day at a time Nothing that has helped me more than living this out.

Do what you can to help your caregivers It’s easy when you need so much from other all the time to just “shut down” and let them do everything. But figure out what you can do and make yourself get up and do it.

Let it go There is so much you want to do and can’t. But don’t let yourself wallow in the “if only” game. Things cannot be how you want them exactly, and that is just the way it is right now. And who knows? Maybe that’s a good lesson to learn anyway. Being God is way above our pay level anyway.

Figure out what's working and what’s not For about a week, randomly 3 different times in your day rate your stress level on a scale of one to ten. If the level is over 5, figure out what it is that is causing the pressure. (Writing down what you are doing at the time and the level will help you assess even more.) Over the week, you’ll see some patterns and will maybe able to make some changes to help you in your times of most stress.

Keep perspective: I have tend to have an idealistic view of life and believe I am losing out on everything. Some if that is true. But it is also true that is there is much to be thankful for, much I have that others would long to have, and what I think I am missing out on is in reality not as bad as I my mind makes it out to be.

Don’t be afraid to ask for prayer and encouragement

Do not let this lick you Choose to happy. Do not let the pain win. Some days you have to “behave your way to success” as Dr. Phil would say. No spouse wants to come home to a sad partner day in and day out, regardless of the circumstances. So choose joy.


  1. I bet that felt good to get all that out. Thank you. That stress tip could definitely help me out. God is so good, isn't he? Every day I just beg him for help and for what I need, and everyday he keeps giving me what I need! What I need may not push me over the top on the happines scale, but it is JUST what I needed and a perfecly fitted blessing. Thank you God for the humbling blessings you give us- just enough to keep us going, and not too much to move us out of your will.

  2. Side note: where do you get all the cool pictures for your posts? And, you have such a cool lay out with the flowers, I didn't see that one on blogspot. I am unawares of how to get all this stuff:)z

  3. HaHa! My fancy stuff is just more proof that I have way too time on my hands!
    I found the backdrop at
    There are quite a few to choose from and on the right she tells where to cut and paste the "formula" for it to show on your page.
    The pics are just google searches and then where you write your draft there is a botton on the top to add a photo.
    Hope you are well! Truly praying that 2010 will be a much better year for me! And I pray it will bring direction for you all as well, and if not, well, we will just keep trusting! Hope we can get together soon. Andrew's parents are in town right now.