Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I went to Super Walmart today with SaraRosie. Not just Walmart...Super Walmart. In Pinellas Park. Usually, that's Super Disgusting.
I haven't been able to go in over two years because of my back. I used to LOATHE it. Mostly because there are so many people like this (seriously, check out the link. Hysterical.) But it's hands down the cheapest place to buy--everything. So, I'd go. And leave in a bad mood ;0)
But it's amazing what a little perspective can do for ya. I had a wonderful time walking the aisles this morning. In spite of the nastiness that just IS Super Walmart, it took me back to the days when I was healthy and strong--my head full of recipes for dinner and the satisfaction I was saving us money and helping Andrew out.
This morning, I was happy to be there. I had made it. It was an effort, but I'd driven, (with SaraRose in tow, no less...darling girl climbs in and out of the carseat by herself), I'd (from the knees!) lifted her into the cart, and I'd walked around the store to buy a few items. And when we got home we made these for Daddy and his co-workers:
I know I whine on here a lot, but sometimes I just gotta get it out. And this is my outlet for that, so excuse this very whiny paragraph...
The feeling that I'm contributing to our family is few and far between these days. It seems like I'm always needing help. I can't stand long enough to cook, I can barely pick up toys. I can't care for SaraRose all day by myself. I can't grocery shop. I can't do laundry. I need help to tie my shoes, to pick up the pretzel I just dropped. To get something off the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. It goes on and on...and let me tell you, it gets OLD. All this neediness is tough on a young wife and mom who found most of her worth in being involved, helping, going, doing.
Ok, enough of that....
The road with my back is far from over, but things are at least stable right now. It's definitely made me appreciate the little things. Even Super Walmart! I am doing what I can. I'm trying to rest in the fact that it's not WHAT I can do, but WHO I AM that's the most important. That's a super hard lesson, especially when you're forced into it. But for the first time....I wasn't fuming with irritation when I left Walmart's parking lot....so that's a start, right?!

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