Saturday, December 31, 2011

What I Found Out This Year

2012--ready or not, here it comes! I love that life has cycles, seasons, beginnings and endings,   because I don't know about you, but fresh starts are good for me.  I need the hope a new dawn brings with it. Before 2011 closes I wanted to share a word...two words actually....that I feel have defined this past year for me.
"Just enough"
I've prattled on and on on this blog about the tough times I have with pain and what its like coming to terms with the fact that something really bad may be a forever chronic life issue.
Things have been a roller coaster the past four years. Huge ups (SaraRose Joy being born) and devastating downs (three unsuccessful surgeries anyone?)
But thru the desperation, I've seen "just enough" play out over and over in my circumstances. And I am convinced that most often, this is how God moves.
I don't understand why and it is not my way -- that's for sure!  I desire the BIG, the BOLD, the UNMISTAKABLE. But time after time, I've received bits of hope *just* when I'm convinced all is lost. A word that encourages perfectly *just* when I wonder if I'm forgotten. A medication that helps the pain *just* when I thought I couldn't take anymore. Sustaining grace. Not deliverance. Just enough.
I received two such graces just this morning...both at the perfect moment.
And I wouldn't have always recognized them as such--I would have held out for more.
But I am learning.
It is rarely ALL, but it is ENOUGH.  For some reason I'll probably never know, most often....that's where He is found.
And when I look back on it....it is good!   Difficult, but still good.
"Just enough" was really all I needed.

And on a lighter note.....
Here's SaraRose on New Years Eve, 2008. In a popcorn bin.
And here she is this year. In our clothes hamper.

Happy New Year everyone!

2 comments:

  1. I love this. I really, really love this. You make a point that I think we all, in some way or another, are learning. But YOU put it into words. Good job. You are right. Just enough.... Thanks for the reminder and the insight. Love you.

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  2. p.s. It just hit me that I got to see SaraRose as a teeny baby... That is when I first met you, when Home Fellowship threw you a shower for SaraRose:) She has always had those beautiful eyes.

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