It was kind of funny. A few months ago, I noticed a comment on here from a sweet lady named Rhonda who said she'd like to discuss a writing opportunity with me, so if I was interested would I please email her?
For a split second I thought "hmmmm...that'd be cool!" then I quickly wrote if off assuming that since (by design) I do not promote this blog nor do I have any sort of huge following, it was probably nothing.
But later, my one consistent blog commenter (*waving* Hi Katie!! :) had seen the comment too and asked me about it. So I decided to send an email, just in case....
And lo and behold, it was for real! Rhonda is the editor of a Heart Magazine and she had seen my little story and video about memorizing Psalm 139 and asked if I'd be interested in writing an article for about how the Psalms have shaped my life.
Well, I'll be...
What a wonderful time I had doing it! I really, truly do have quite a tale to tell about this, and I am thrilled for the opportunity to share it.
Thank you, Rhonda. This was so fun, and your magazine is awesome. God's continued blessing to you and yours.
You can read my article at the link below on pages 8-10: (it may take a sec to download...)
http://heartmagazineonline.com/?page_id=2
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
My Favs: Summer Edition
Here are a few of my favorite things this summer.....
1). Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns) and I Feel Bad About My Neck
I am a fan of the humorous essay, and both these authors do it really well. Having a book of easy to read chapters is the perfect addition to any bedside table, and the whimsy and wit of both writers is a rare gift-- they're funny without being raunchy--and I call that a score.
Best part? Ideal for any time you need something to do, but only have a few minutes.
Down side? Is it cliche to buy a Nora Ephron book the day after her passing? Probably, but I did it anyway.
2). Weight Watchers String Cheese
I'm pretty much always watching my weight or straight up counting points on Weight Watchers. So I appreciate a yummy, low cal snack. These are hands-down my favorite right now.
Best Part? It's the best tasting string cheese on the planet (so many are too cheesy.) Also, they are perfect consistency for optimum stringing. :)
Down Side? I've found that no one can eat string cheese in a delicate fashion.
Where to get it? I've seen them at Super Walmart but not at all grocery stores, so you'll have to check. I usually stock up when I see them.
3). Essie Turquoise and Caico Nail Polish
I'm can be a very boring person when it comes to toenail color. I choose deep wine shades (and french manicures when done professionally) and that's about it. The one time branched out and tried a "Navy Blue" that I hoped would look cute with jeans, it made my feet look purple and sickly. BUT THIS FUN, BREEZY AQUA IS PERFECT! Every time I look at my feet, I smile.
Best Part? It stays on with out chipping for-ever. I mean really forever. You will have to redo your nails because of growth before chipping. And I call that another score.
Down Side? The consistency is thin you have to be careful of dripping and apply several coats. But my uber sylish sister-in-law (in the pic with me below) confirmed that the thinness is what makes it stay on so well. Alrighty then, I'll take it!
Where? Got mine at Target.
4). Neutrogena Build A Tan Sunless Tanning Lotion
This Florida girl has never tried a self-tanner. I've been too traumatised by stories of streaks and orange hands and I love to lay by a pool anyway--so I've never felt the need. Until I realized that I'm not a teenager anymore and that the world doesn't revolve around my relaxing and beach going. SO... I started small, and ya'll-- I'm in love. I may never lay out again.
Best Part? It goes on in one easy coat and gives a perfect, natural, healthy glow.
Down Side? I usually only put on one quick coat so if I shower the next day it will fade and I'll have to reapply.
Where? I got mine at Target. I love Target.
5). Publix Deli Chips and Salsa
This picture does not do this dip justice. Oh, how I wish I could give you a sample--because I'm sure you would do just what my friend Summer did after she tried it--stop on the way home to buy yourself some. It's chopped and assembled fresh in the deli and I'm telling you people, it will forever change your chips and salsa experience. And I do love me a good chips and salsa experience.
Best Part? It's scrumptious, sweet, and ZERO Weight Watchers Points.
Down Side? You can only buy it at Publix.
Where? By the packaged cheeses and meats in the Deli selection.
I'm going to go eat some right now.
Hope you're having a good summer! Any favs you want to share with me?
1). Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns) and I Feel Bad About My Neck
I am a fan of the humorous essay, and both these authors do it really well. Having a book of easy to read chapters is the perfect addition to any bedside table, and the whimsy and wit of both writers is a rare gift-- they're funny without being raunchy--and I call that a score.
Best part? Ideal for any time you need something to do, but only have a few minutes.
Down side? Is it cliche to buy a Nora Ephron book the day after her passing? Probably, but I did it anyway.
2). Weight Watchers String Cheese
I'm pretty much always watching my weight or straight up counting points on Weight Watchers. So I appreciate a yummy, low cal snack. These are hands-down my favorite right now.
Best Part? It's the best tasting string cheese on the planet (so many are too cheesy.) Also, they are perfect consistency for optimum stringing. :)
Down Side? I've found that no one can eat string cheese in a delicate fashion.
Where to get it? I've seen them at Super Walmart but not at all grocery stores, so you'll have to check. I usually stock up when I see them.
3). Essie Turquoise and Caico Nail Polish
I'm can be a very boring person when it comes to toenail color. I choose deep wine shades (and french manicures when done professionally) and that's about it. The one time branched out and tried a "Navy Blue" that I hoped would look cute with jeans, it made my feet look purple and sickly. BUT THIS FUN, BREEZY AQUA IS PERFECT! Every time I look at my feet, I smile.
Best Part? It stays on with out chipping for-ever. I mean really forever. You will have to redo your nails because of growth before chipping. And I call that another score.
Down Side? The consistency is thin you have to be careful of dripping and apply several coats. But my uber sylish sister-in-law (in the pic with me below) confirmed that the thinness is what makes it stay on so well. Alrighty then, I'll take it!
Where? Got mine at Target.
4). Neutrogena Build A Tan Sunless Tanning Lotion
This Florida girl has never tried a self-tanner. I've been too traumatised by stories of streaks and orange hands and I love to lay by a pool anyway--so I've never felt the need. Until I realized that I'm not a teenager anymore and that the world doesn't revolve around my relaxing and beach going. SO... I started small, and ya'll-- I'm in love. I may never lay out again.
Best Part? It goes on in one easy coat and gives a perfect, natural, healthy glow.
Down Side? I usually only put on one quick coat so if I shower the next day it will fade and I'll have to reapply.
Where? I got mine at Target. I love Target.
 |
| I'm wearing it in this pic. Pretty natural, right? |
5). Publix Deli Chips and Salsa
This picture does not do this dip justice. Oh, how I wish I could give you a sample--because I'm sure you would do just what my friend Summer did after she tried it--stop on the way home to buy yourself some. It's chopped and assembled fresh in the deli and I'm telling you people, it will forever change your chips and salsa experience. And I do love me a good chips and salsa experience.
Best Part? It's scrumptious, sweet, and ZERO Weight Watchers Points.
Down Side? You can only buy it at Publix.
Where? By the packaged cheeses and meats in the Deli selection.
I'm going to go eat some right now.
Hope you're having a good summer! Any favs you want to share with me?
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Acting, Voice Over, and a Whole Lotta Trust
I'm starting this story at the end, with a picture of my Bible--open to Psalm 116--laying on the floor in my Voice Over studio.
I'm sure that sentence makes no sense, so let me start at the beginning.
It's been a crazy past few months with lots of highs and several lows.
Since I most often write about my back stuff here (so honored you bear with me! I write for myself but am grateful for each of you who read along), I've never written about the Voice Over work I've been getting into over the past 8 months or so. I thought about it, but didn't know where to start. Then (as usual) my back stuff got intertwined and *poof!* a blog post was born. :)
So here we are.
But it's kind of a long story.
And to understand it completely, I must to rewind to the very beginning, that laid it's roots years ago.
Once upon a time, I loved theater and acting (and I was rather good at it too.) I don't say that to boast, just to help better explain how deep-seated some of my recent struggles are. Acting is the one talent I have that, from the time I was a kid, has always come naturally. I adore it, and for the most part, have had some fantastic opportunities with it too, usually receiving consistent, positive feedback from directors and others I've worked with.
But, over the last decade or so a pattern started to develop. Time and time again, when different roles or open doors came my way, I'd only to be able to go so far with them before it was thwarted by my back problems.
Two examples include:
1) Landing my dream job at Disney, working there for a while, making plans to move up with the company, only have to quit due to physical stamina and an immanent back surgery.
2) Getting my second professional acting job, only to throw my back out so badly that I later had to decline their offer.
I could literally go on and on with examples like this, but these are two of the most devastating.
Not very long after both of those happened, I figured it was time to just move on to the next big "plan" on my (emphasis on the my :) life's agenda: having children and being a stay-at-home mom. I knew acting would always be there.
So we had SaraRose (which for the record, is the best thing we've ever done, and why I want another! :) But no one could have predicted how bad my back problems would get after that. Three major surgeries later, and I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to act again (so much of acting is physical), or have any more children.
Whew. Those are some tough pills to swallow, let me tell you.
Most of this blog over the years has chronicled me working thru some of that. I remember writing this post which summed up the one major question I had now that life looked so....different.
I have always been the kind of person who loves, almost needs, to have something new on the horizon--it's part of who I am, what gives me joy. So it was really disorienting to look at the future with a bleak "what now?"
So, I decided to really pray. I don't want to sound super spiritual or something, but around September, I even pulled a Jerry Fallwell and started fasting....I was just so desolate and desperate for God to speak and lead me.
And WOW. Did He ever! (there is something to fasting, ya'll--God can move).
In a very miraculous way that I won't go into now, God led me to pursue Voice Over work....
and I absolutely love it.
It seems to be the perfect fit, melding my love for acting (without having to use my body), and the ability to work and rest as needed.
God has opened wide every door, hooking me up with classes and critiques from professionals, providing the finances to set up a small recording studio in our home, and even connecting me with a Voice Over artist in the area, Sean Caldwell, who does amazing work, and has offered mentor me. Wow. And all of this is just since early this year. Overwhelming and so, so awesome (there aren't really enough adjectives appropriate here!)
**On an different note, but a just-as-miraculous one, around this same time, God gave my husband a new job that is layered with blessings for our family. We've been praying for 9 years for a new job like this for him, and are still pinching ourselves it's come true!**
God had been so good to us. He had answered monumental prayers.
It seemed like things were starting to make a little sense. I was believing God is alive and active more than I ever have. I was feeling more confident and in control than I had in years. I was finally looking toward the future with hope!
I even took down my faith poster!!
But then.
Don't you just know Satan was crouching, waiting to pounce on that one? YEA.
Well, pounce he did.
Out of no where and with a vengeance, I started having a terrible new back and leg pain. There were days I could hardly walk. Before I knew it, old wounds reopened, and I found myself questioning, "Why do I even bother? I know the way this all turns out. Why do I ever get my hopes up? Haven't I learned my lesson? This is just going to be another pitiful, painful end" and on and on it spiraled.
Even with all God had done, I shut down.
I stopped pursuing meetings with Sean, and I didn't even open the door to my studio. It all just hurt too much. Stopping completely was my only coping mechanism.
Days and weeks went by.
I lay in bed, defeated, and told the Lord I was over it.
But I did continue to pray. There's not much else to do when you're stuck in bed :)......but mostly because I fully believe in it's power--how could I not after all I've seen this year?
Then one night, my dad (what would I do without my dad?), came over and I mentioned to him my struggles. As always, he helped me with my perspective, and I felt the load lessen a bit. Then I reached out to some friends who came over and prayed with me. A few days after that, my dear confidante, Terrie Scott, popped in to say good-bye, and I mentioned it to her as well. She gave me some good things to think about and is the one who suggested I straight-up put a Bible in my studio as a reminder of Who's in control of all this to begin with. I thought that was a great idea.
Then God (who I'm learning never moves as quickly as I want Him to :), dropped two new Voice Over scripts--with a deadline--smack-dab in my lap. It was very unexpected-- I had put forth no effort to find work. But it was just what I needed to, pain or no pain, open up the studio door, and start recording again. I even called Sean and we worked together twice this week.
I have had a blast.
The pain is still there.
It's not as oppressive as it was, but it's still enough to make me
nervous. I don't know what it means...and I don't know if I want to.
But I do know that when it comes to Voice Over, I'm going to try my best to keep on going, regardless of the pain or all my wounds and worries.
God's gave this to me as an answer and a gift, that much I know.
And I have so much fun doing it! I also have some cool opportunities coming up, so really, that is far as I need to focus.
I don't know if it will all crumble, I don't know if I will have to give it up.
Heck, I don't know if things won't keep moving in a positive direction!
But I do know that God is keeping me reliant on Him. Much like Jacob with his limp, and Paul with his proverbial thorn in the flesh, I'm never too far from humility and being desperate for the Lord. I've always wanted to live from a place like that, I just never dreamed it would come like this. Or be this hard! So hard I would have to keep a literal Bible close by for support! But hey, whatever it takes. I need all the reminders I can get that God is bigger than my fears.
PS. I tried to attach some audio so you could hear some of my work, (seems mean to talk about Voice Over without something to listen to), but I couldn't figure it out. There is so much to the technical side I'm learning. I will as soon as I do!
It's been a crazy past few months with lots of highs and several lows.
Since I most often write about my back stuff here (so honored you bear with me! I write for myself but am grateful for each of you who read along), I've never written about the Voice Over work I've been getting into over the past 8 months or so. I thought about it, but didn't know where to start. Then (as usual) my back stuff got intertwined and *poof!* a blog post was born. :)
So here we are.
But it's kind of a long story.
And to understand it completely, I must to rewind to the very beginning, that laid it's roots years ago.
Once upon a time, I loved theater and acting (and I was rather good at it too.) I don't say that to boast, just to help better explain how deep-seated some of my recent struggles are. Acting is the one talent I have that, from the time I was a kid, has always come naturally. I adore it, and for the most part, have had some fantastic opportunities with it too, usually receiving consistent, positive feedback from directors and others I've worked with.
But, over the last decade or so a pattern started to develop. Time and time again, when different roles or open doors came my way, I'd only to be able to go so far with them before it was thwarted by my back problems.
Two examples include:
1) Landing my dream job at Disney, working there for a while, making plans to move up with the company, only have to quit due to physical stamina and an immanent back surgery.
2) Getting my second professional acting job, only to throw my back out so badly that I later had to decline their offer.
I could literally go on and on with examples like this, but these are two of the most devastating.
Not very long after both of those happened, I figured it was time to just move on to the next big "plan" on my (emphasis on the my :) life's agenda: having children and being a stay-at-home mom. I knew acting would always be there.
So we had SaraRose (which for the record, is the best thing we've ever done, and why I want another! :) But no one could have predicted how bad my back problems would get after that. Three major surgeries later, and I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to act again (so much of acting is physical), or have any more children.
Whew. Those are some tough pills to swallow, let me tell you.
Most of this blog over the years has chronicled me working thru some of that. I remember writing this post which summed up the one major question I had now that life looked so....different.
I have always been the kind of person who loves, almost needs, to have something new on the horizon--it's part of who I am, what gives me joy. So it was really disorienting to look at the future with a bleak "what now?"
So, I decided to really pray. I don't want to sound super spiritual or something, but around September, I even pulled a Jerry Fallwell and started fasting....I was just so desolate and desperate for God to speak and lead me.
And WOW. Did He ever! (there is something to fasting, ya'll--God can move).
In a very miraculous way that I won't go into now, God led me to pursue Voice Over work....
and I absolutely love it.
It seems to be the perfect fit, melding my love for acting (without having to use my body), and the ability to work and rest as needed.
God has opened wide every door, hooking me up with classes and critiques from professionals, providing the finances to set up a small recording studio in our home, and even connecting me with a Voice Over artist in the area, Sean Caldwell, who does amazing work, and has offered mentor me. Wow. And all of this is just since early this year. Overwhelming and so, so awesome (there aren't really enough adjectives appropriate here!)
God had been so good to us. He had answered monumental prayers.
It seemed like things were starting to make a little sense. I was believing God is alive and active more than I ever have. I was feeling more confident and in control than I had in years. I was finally looking toward the future with hope!
I even took down my faith poster!!
But then.
Don't you just know Satan was crouching, waiting to pounce on that one? YEA.
Well, pounce he did.
Out of no where and with a vengeance, I started having a terrible new back and leg pain. There were days I could hardly walk. Before I knew it, old wounds reopened, and I found myself questioning, "Why do I even bother? I know the way this all turns out. Why do I ever get my hopes up? Haven't I learned my lesson? This is just going to be another pitiful, painful end" and on and on it spiraled.
Even with all God had done, I shut down.
I stopped pursuing meetings with Sean, and I didn't even open the door to my studio. It all just hurt too much. Stopping completely was my only coping mechanism.
Days and weeks went by.
I lay in bed, defeated, and told the Lord I was over it.
But I did continue to pray. There's not much else to do when you're stuck in bed :)......but mostly because I fully believe in it's power--how could I not after all I've seen this year?
Then one night, my dad (what would I do without my dad?), came over and I mentioned to him my struggles. As always, he helped me with my perspective, and I felt the load lessen a bit. Then I reached out to some friends who came over and prayed with me. A few days after that, my dear confidante, Terrie Scott, popped in to say good-bye, and I mentioned it to her as well. She gave me some good things to think about and is the one who suggested I straight-up put a Bible in my studio as a reminder of Who's in control of all this to begin with. I thought that was a great idea.
Then God (who I'm learning never moves as quickly as I want Him to :), dropped two new Voice Over scripts--with a deadline--smack-dab in my lap. It was very unexpected-- I had put forth no effort to find work. But it was just what I needed to, pain or no pain, open up the studio door, and start recording again. I even called Sean and we worked together twice this week.
I have had a blast.
But I do know that when it comes to Voice Over, I'm going to try my best to keep on going, regardless of the pain or all my wounds and worries.
God's gave this to me as an answer and a gift, that much I know.
And I have so much fun doing it! I also have some cool opportunities coming up, so really, that is far as I need to focus.
I don't know if it will all crumble, I don't know if I will have to give it up.
Heck, I don't know if things won't keep moving in a positive direction!
But I do know that God is keeping me reliant on Him. Much like Jacob with his limp, and Paul with his proverbial thorn in the flesh, I'm never too far from humility and being desperate for the Lord. I've always wanted to live from a place like that, I just never dreamed it would come like this. Or be this hard! So hard I would have to keep a literal Bible close by for support! But hey, whatever it takes. I need all the reminders I can get that God is bigger than my fears.
PS. I tried to attach some audio so you could hear some of my work, (seems mean to talk about Voice Over without something to listen to), but I couldn't figure it out. There is so much to the technical side I'm learning. I will as soon as I do!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Have You Ever Seen a Cat's Eyes in the Dark?
This is so opposite from the things I usually post here, but this is awesome and I seriously cannot stop laughing watching it. I am compelled to spread the love. My favorite is the snapping and whistle playing in the middle. :)
Also, I adore Mr. Rogers.
Also, I adore Mr. Rogers.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A Place Of Healing
I've mentioned before that:
A). I am a stalker fan of Joni Eareckson Tada (and Beth Moore too for that matter.)
B). I get overly excited about things I love.
C). When I am overly excited about something I love I can't help gushing and using lots of exclamation points!!!!!!!!
That being said, please bear with me in this post; it's sure to be a combination of all 3. :)
A few days ago I started reading Joni's book A Place of Healing, and my heart is so full I could cry just typing these words out.
I have never, ever read something that so perfectly, so succinctly, so powerfully articulates exactly where I am in my current situation with pain and suffering. I've read books that are encouraging, books that help me look at obstacles in a new light, but I can't lie that many times I read them thinking, "well, that's great. But how do I apply that while living in PAIN every waking minute?"
And that's the difference here.
Joni knows. She gets it.
Did you know Joni lives with pain? Many are aware that she's been a quadriplegic for 40 years, or that she had breast cancer--but on top of all that--she lives with intense pain in her neck and lower back. And even to her, someone who knows all about overcoming limitations and hardship, the pain has rocked her to the core.
She states:
"with this pain it's--it's as though God's reintroducing me to suffering. The agony I've experienced is beyond anything I could have imagined. Words truly fail me....I never used to be this way. Honestly. I never used to whine. I never used to wake up wondering if I'd be able to get out of bed. Most of all, I never remember being this anxious or fearful....I'm afraid I'm wearing out my friends. And my husband. Just as I used to tell God years ago when I was first injured, I find myself once more praying 'Lord, I can't live the rest of my life like this'."
My heart resonates with that paragraph so deeply. I have felt all of those things too, and I need a book that gets it on that level. I need to be assured I am not alone.
Perhaps the most extraordinary thing, though, is that while Joni admittedly hates the pain, daily grapples with it and is at times deeply overwhelmed
She is not overcome by it.
Chapter after chapter speaks only hope and victory and beauty from ashes.
Powerful words of healing beyond physical deliverance.
That is how I want to live. I don't want to give in, to let pain destroy my joy or rob me of who I am becoming. Most of all, I never want the pain--as desperate as it can make me feel some days--to shatter my relationship with God. I know that's exactly what Satan wants to happen, I can sense that spiritual battle all around me at times, but I want to live in victory no matter my circumstances.
So, having said all that (with minimal exclamation points too--impressive! :),
I want to share with you some of her thoughts. I'm sure they may have deeper meaning to someone living with pain, but I promise if you take the time read them all the way thru....you too will be blessed.
From the chapter titled: "What Benefit is There to My Pain?"
"Maybe like me, you've occasionally worried that the cares, troubles and afflictions of this life will simply begin to wear you down, dulling your joy, deluding your hope, and robbing you of the radiance you once experienced as a believer.
In fact, it may be the very opposite.
It isn't the hurts, bumps and bruises that rob us of the freshness of Christ's beauty in our lives. More likely, it is careless ease, empty pride, earthly preoccupations and too much prosperity that will put layers of dirty film over our souls."
(Oh my word. I really needed to hear that.)
From the chapter: "How Can I Go on Like This?" (Can I hear an amen for these chapter titles?)
I am so glad that this life for us is not an easy road. If it were, if the Lord didn't occasionally give us a taste of hell's splash over, you and I would soon forget that this world is not our home. I'm also grateful that he opens our eyes from time to time to the magnitude of this spiritual war we are in, He does this by giving us wonderful foretastes of glory divine in the joys we experience, and he does it by allowing us foretastes of hell in our suffering."
(What a powerful thought. Suffering reminds us there is a hell.)
From the chapter: "How Can I Bring Him Glory?"
"I've fought for just the smallest bits of normalcy and peace in my war with pain, and I don't feel as if I have very much left to offer at all.
But in the final scheme of things, I know it doesn't matter.
He is the One who will make the most of the little I've got. He is the One who took note of the widows mite, dropped into treasury and affirmed that her little was worth more in heaven's sight than the offering of those who had given much."
(What an encouragement to a wife and mother like me who feels her limitations so profoundly)
Of course I could go on and on, but I've gushed enough for one post. Suffice it to say I am reading this book with a swelling, thankful heart--to Joni and to the God we both serve.
I hope I can honor Him in my pain half as much as she does.
A). I am a stalker fan of Joni Eareckson Tada (and Beth Moore too for that matter.)
B). I get overly excited about things I love.
C). When I am overly excited about something I love I can't help gushing and using lots of exclamation points!!!!!!!!
That being said, please bear with me in this post; it's sure to be a combination of all 3. :)
A few days ago I started reading Joni's book A Place of Healing, and my heart is so full I could cry just typing these words out.
I have never, ever read something that so perfectly, so succinctly, so powerfully articulates exactly where I am in my current situation with pain and suffering. I've read books that are encouraging, books that help me look at obstacles in a new light, but I can't lie that many times I read them thinking, "well, that's great. But how do I apply that while living in PAIN every waking minute?"
And that's the difference here.
Joni knows. She gets it.
Did you know Joni lives with pain? Many are aware that she's been a quadriplegic for 40 years, or that she had breast cancer--but on top of all that--she lives with intense pain in her neck and lower back. And even to her, someone who knows all about overcoming limitations and hardship, the pain has rocked her to the core.
She states:
"with this pain it's--it's as though God's reintroducing me to suffering. The agony I've experienced is beyond anything I could have imagined. Words truly fail me....I never used to be this way. Honestly. I never used to whine. I never used to wake up wondering if I'd be able to get out of bed. Most of all, I never remember being this anxious or fearful....I'm afraid I'm wearing out my friends. And my husband. Just as I used to tell God years ago when I was first injured, I find myself once more praying 'Lord, I can't live the rest of my life like this'."
My heart resonates with that paragraph so deeply. I have felt all of those things too, and I need a book that gets it on that level. I need to be assured I am not alone.
She is not overcome by it.
Chapter after chapter speaks only hope and victory and beauty from ashes.
Powerful words of healing beyond physical deliverance.
That is how I want to live. I don't want to give in, to let pain destroy my joy or rob me of who I am becoming. Most of all, I never want the pain--as desperate as it can make me feel some days--to shatter my relationship with God. I know that's exactly what Satan wants to happen, I can sense that spiritual battle all around me at times, but I want to live in victory no matter my circumstances.
So, having said all that (with minimal exclamation points too--impressive! :),
I want to share with you some of her thoughts. I'm sure they may have deeper meaning to someone living with pain, but I promise if you take the time read them all the way thru....you too will be blessed.
From the chapter titled: "What Benefit is There to My Pain?"
"Maybe like me, you've occasionally worried that the cares, troubles and afflictions of this life will simply begin to wear you down, dulling your joy, deluding your hope, and robbing you of the radiance you once experienced as a believer.
In fact, it may be the very opposite.
It isn't the hurts, bumps and bruises that rob us of the freshness of Christ's beauty in our lives. More likely, it is careless ease, empty pride, earthly preoccupations and too much prosperity that will put layers of dirty film over our souls."
(Oh my word. I really needed to hear that.)
From the chapter: "How Can I Go on Like This?" (Can I hear an amen for these chapter titles?)
I am so glad that this life for us is not an easy road. If it were, if the Lord didn't occasionally give us a taste of hell's splash over, you and I would soon forget that this world is not our home. I'm also grateful that he opens our eyes from time to time to the magnitude of this spiritual war we are in, He does this by giving us wonderful foretastes of glory divine in the joys we experience, and he does it by allowing us foretastes of hell in our suffering."
(What a powerful thought. Suffering reminds us there is a hell.)
From the chapter: "How Can I Bring Him Glory?"
"I've fought for just the smallest bits of normalcy and peace in my war with pain, and I don't feel as if I have very much left to offer at all.
But in the final scheme of things, I know it doesn't matter.
He is the One who will make the most of the little I've got. He is the One who took note of the widows mite, dropped into treasury and affirmed that her little was worth more in heaven's sight than the offering of those who had given much."
(What an encouragement to a wife and mother like me who feels her limitations so profoundly)
Of course I could go on and on, but I've gushed enough for one post. Suffice it to say I am reading this book with a swelling, thankful heart--to Joni and to the God we both serve.
I hope I can honor Him in my pain half as much as she does.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Its Time: Moving the Faith Poster
Ya'll. Can I get a hug right now? I kinda need one because I just took big step this morning. I took the Faith Poster down from the wall beside my bed. And I cried.
I am actually crying now as I type this!
I knew it would be difficult, but I didn't think it'd hit me this hard. And I only moved it to the back of my door! Ha! Now I'm crying and laughing!
I guess the tears just prove how much this poster means to me. For the longest time, it was the only thing shining life into the darkest, loneliest days of my life. When I had nothing but tears, I'd roll over and see the sweet little clippings I'd pain-stakingly placed on there....and they reminded me to hope. When everything in my body told me life as I knew it was over, the poster hung firmly, whispering that even if my future looks different, there are still good things to come. And at the risk of sounding dramatic, this little poster helped me visualize things to live for when I really, really needed it.
I've wondered for a while now about taking it down. It's been up for four years (one clipping reads "A Brand New You in 2009!") But, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd miss it too much. And there's some really important stuff on there is still isn't answered.
Thru the years I have prayed for all of it to come true.
And a lot of it has!
But a lot of it hasn't.
So how could I take it down?
Then, I read this. Where Joni Earickson Tada talked about a drawing a friend did for her right after her accident. The artist sketched Joni "putting the pieces of her life back together," and Joni explained that some of those pieces never fit back together perfectly. But that "there is great wisdom in trusting God for each piece that doesn't go back the way it was."
And that hit home.
It was time. Time to trust that God sees and knows whether the poster is there to remind me or not.
My life may never look like the picture I hoped for when I pieced those pictures together.
But it doesn't have to. In fact, there is greater faith in believing that.
I'm on the other side of so much. And my life is good.
Different? Yes. Harder? Undoubtedly.
But it is still good. I am seeing God move in some awesome, wonderful ways for me.
Not to mention that my heart is for sure changed becuase of all I've been thru the last four years. God has grown me, stretched me, refined me, and I will never be the same. "From Sorrow to Strength," if you will. "A Beautiful New Me."
And the inner change has always been more important to me than the physical stuff, the "Active Life!" represented in the poster.
So today I took it down.....at least it hasn't gone too far. :)
I am sad, but I am happy as well.
I appreciate you letting me memorialize it here. I think I needed to talk it out.
And for the record, I still believe God can give everything on there and more, if He so chooses. But His way is perfect.
The only problem I have now is that my bedroom wall looks a little bare.
Luckily, I have Pinterest to help with that. :)
I am actually crying now as I type this!
I knew it would be difficult, but I didn't think it'd hit me this hard. And I only moved it to the back of my door! Ha! Now I'm crying and laughing!
I guess the tears just prove how much this poster means to me. For the longest time, it was the only thing shining life into the darkest, loneliest days of my life. When I had nothing but tears, I'd roll over and see the sweet little clippings I'd pain-stakingly placed on there....and they reminded me to hope. When everything in my body told me life as I knew it was over, the poster hung firmly, whispering that even if my future looks different, there are still good things to come. And at the risk of sounding dramatic, this little poster helped me visualize things to live for when I really, really needed it.
I've wondered for a while now about taking it down. It's been up for four years (one clipping reads "A Brand New You in 2009!") But, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd miss it too much. And there's some really important stuff on there is still isn't answered.
Thru the years I have prayed for all of it to come true.
And a lot of it has!
But a lot of it hasn't.
So how could I take it down?
Then, I read this. Where Joni Earickson Tada talked about a drawing a friend did for her right after her accident. The artist sketched Joni "putting the pieces of her life back together," and Joni explained that some of those pieces never fit back together perfectly. But that "there is great wisdom in trusting God for each piece that doesn't go back the way it was."
And that hit home.
It was time. Time to trust that God sees and knows whether the poster is there to remind me or not.
My life may never look like the picture I hoped for when I pieced those pictures together.
But it doesn't have to. In fact, there is greater faith in believing that.
I'm on the other side of so much. And my life is good.
Different? Yes. Harder? Undoubtedly.
But it is still good. I am seeing God move in some awesome, wonderful ways for me.
Not to mention that my heart is for sure changed becuase of all I've been thru the last four years. God has grown me, stretched me, refined me, and I will never be the same. "From Sorrow to Strength," if you will. "A Beautiful New Me."
And the inner change has always been more important to me than the physical stuff, the "Active Life!" represented in the poster.
So today I took it down.....at least it hasn't gone too far. :)
I am sad, but I am happy as well.
I appreciate you letting me memorialize it here. I think I needed to talk it out.
And for the record, I still believe God can give everything on there and more, if He so chooses. But His way is perfect.
The only problem I have now is that my bedroom wall looks a little bare.
Luckily, I have Pinterest to help with that. :)
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Thought That Counted
The other day I got a letter in the mail from my little sister.
She didn't have to send it, but she did. And that means the world to me.
Here's some of what it read:
There was more to it, of course, but that's the general idea. And I just want to say how much that small act of kindness was appreciated.
Thank you, Erika.
Thank you for (in the midst of your great joy) taking the time to think about me.
And then making the effort to tell me so.
It really mattered.
I love you, too. And I'm so happy for you.
She didn't have to send it, but she did. And that means the world to me.
Here's some of what it read:
"This card has been passed from my kitchen counter to my purse---just waiting for me to write it out. Just waiting for the right timing on what to say.
Although I know completely that you are rejoicing with us having another baby, I know part of you feels sad too. I couldn't say these words to you audibly, but I really appreciate your excitement (especially in us having a girl). I know it's probably hard for you and I don't neglect that in any way...
You have no idea the inspiration you are to me. I love you dearly."
Erika
There was more to it, of course, but that's the general idea. And I just want to say how much that small act of kindness was appreciated.
Thank you, Erika.
Thank you for (in the midst of your great joy) taking the time to think about me.
And then making the effort to tell me so.
It really mattered.
I love you, too. And I'm so happy for you.
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| My baby sis and me |
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