"Just enough"
I've prattled on and on on this blog about the tough times I have with pain and what its like coming to terms with the fact that something really bad may be a forever chronic life issue.
Things have been a roller coaster the past four years. Huge ups (SaraRose Joy being born) and devastating downs (three unsuccessful surgeries anyone?)
But thru the desperation, I've seen "just enough" play out over and over in my circumstances. And I am convinced that most often, this is how God moves.
I don't understand why and it is not my way -- that's for sure! I desire the BIG, the BOLD, the UNMISTAKABLE. But time after time, I've received bits of hope *just* when I'm convinced all is lost. A word that encourages perfectly *just* when I wonder if I'm forgotten. A medication that helps the pain *just* when I thought I couldn't take anymore. Sustaining grace. Not deliverance. Just enough.
I received two such graces just this morning...both at the perfect moment.
And I wouldn't have always recognized them as such--I would have held out for more.
But I am learning.
It is rarely ALL, but it is ENOUGH. For some reason I'll probably never know, most often....that's where He is found.
And when I look back on it....it is good! Difficult, but still good.
"Just enough" was really all I needed.
And on a lighter note.....
Here's SaraRose on New Years Eve, 2008. In a popcorn bin.